


take a risk (take a chance, make a change)

by Bara_no_Uta



Series: Finding Meaning in [E]ternity [4]
Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: A2 is learning to open up, F/F, Fluff, Learning Disabilities, Post-Ending E (NieR: Automata), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:33:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26576839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bara_no_Uta/pseuds/Bara_no_Uta
Summary: “What about you? What are you doing all the way out here?” 2B asked, curious if A2 had been here for any specific reason.A2 averted her eyes, embarrassed to admit the reason she was… well, most likely in the middle of nowhere.To be fair, everything was “the middle of nowhere” except 2B’s home base and the Resistance Camp. And yet, any other android would be able to navigate themselves back to those locations…She had never understood what was wrong with her. It should have been impossible for an android to get lost, and yet even in a fairly small space, she got turned around and lost her way easily. Even now that she had seen so many different places, that hadn’t changed. Yet, no scans had ever turned up any defects, as far as she was aware.Eventually, she decided to be honest. She had told 2B she would try to stop pushing her away, and part of that meant attempting to open up to her. Perhaps this was a good opportunity to see what it was like to be completely honest with her. “I don’t know why, but I’ve always had difficulties navigating. Honestly, I thought I’d go to the river to get some water, but I never found it.”-Part of a series, but can be read standalone.
Relationships: 2B/A2 (NieR: Automata)
Series: Finding Meaning in [E]ternity [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892593
Kudos: 36





	take a risk (take a chance, make a change)

**Author's Note:**

> There are references to the stage play in here, but I think there's nothing that shouldn't make sense without watching it or reading the novelization so long as you at least have read the in-game archives on it.
> 
> I follow YoRHa 1.2 most strongly, but certain things from the novelization that aren't contradicted by it remain canon in my eyes. This includes A2's poor sense of direction... yeah, if you haven't read the novelization, A2 canonically gets lost in the Bunker, and then again in the Resistance Camp. Since they just say it should be impossible but don't tell us *why* A2 struggles with this, I've been playing with the idea that the human whose data was used to create her simulated memories had dyscalculia and basically caused the same symptoms for her... if you're wondering what's being hinted at here, since the androids probably don't have that word in their vocabulary and thus don't articulate it in quite that way.
> 
> Anyway, if you've been following the series, I apologize for the delay! There were some real life things that needed to be addressed before I could focus on writing.

2B decided to pay A2 a visit. She had just seen her yesterday after walking her home, but it wasn’t exactly like they were busy, and she wanted to see her. A2 had either not chosen a home base, or hadn’t shared with her where it was – 2B honestly wasn’t sure which – so she wasn’t sure where to find her, but luckily, she had a way to do so anyway.

“Pod, set to Black Box detection mode,” 2B instructed.

“Understood: Activating now.”

The detected Black Boxes appeared on her map. 9S was at their home base, Popola was at the Resistance Camp, and she was the only one at her current position. That left the other dot guaranteed to be A2. At least it was easy to find one another, she supposed.

…Or at least, it was easy for her to find A2. She supposed that without a pod that could activate Black Box detection mode, the same couldn’t be said for A2 being able to find them. That was one of the downsides of no longer being connected to the Bunker.

There was a certain degree of reassurance in being connected to the server. Not only because it meant their data was backed up, but because they could always contact one another if they found themselves in need. There were many things she could honestly say she didn’t miss about being part of the military, but that was one that she did find herself thinking wistfully about… though she supposed even if the Bunker were still around, A2 still wouldn’t have that luxury.

Anyway, no use in regretting things that couldn’t be changed. She set off in search of A2. As it turned out, A2 was stationary, which made it easier for 2B to catch up to her.

In the back of her mind, it did occur to her that it was possible A2 didn’t particularly want company right now. But that was easily remedied. If A2 asked for space, it wasn’t as though she couldn’t go elsewhere and they could talk later.

After searching a while, she spotted A2 relaxing, her back against a tree. “A2,” she called out.

A2 smiled, tilting her head and touching the ground next to her in a silent invitation that she couldn’t quite bring herself to voice.

Smiling back, 2B moved to sit beside her. “I just thought I’d come say hi.”

That seemed to surprise her. “How did you know where I was?”

“Oh. Our pods can detect Black Box signals and mark them on the map,” she explained.

“That sounds nice,” A2 said, her smile just a bit rueful. When 2B’s look turned curious, she averted her eyes, smile falling. “It was actually pretty convenient, having a pod around.”

“Did your generation of models not use pods?”

She shook her head. “No. I’d never had one before.”

2B tried to imagine completing her missions without her pod around. She didn’t tend to give it much thought, almost taking her pod for granted in some ways, but the tactical support it provided her could be indispensable at times. Then again, as a prototype A-type, A2 had abilities that she didn’t, too.

In truth, 2B had been wondering lately about the differences between herself and A2. Based on Anemone’s response upon seeing her for the first time, 2B could only surmise that back when A2 was new and fully maintained, they had looked much more alike. Perhaps just as 6O shared the same features as 6B, prototype No. 2 and she had once been identical. That was somewhat of an odd thought.

But as much as she found herself curious about things like this, she had made a decision not to ask until A2 felt more comfortable opening up to her. It was obvious that the past had held a lot of pain for A2, and she didn’t want to dredge that up if she could help it.

Come to think of it though, she did have one question that felt important. “Do you prefer being called A2? Or No. 2?”

“A2.” There was no hesitation. Who she was back then had died, so being called No. 2 felt wrong, not to mention bringing back memories she would prefer to forget. Anemone still called her No. 2, but that was different. Anemone had been there with her.

“Okay.” The amount of conviction in A2’s voice surprised her a bit, but in a way, she understood. “I’ve been thinking lately about my own name. Now that I don’t have to hide my true designation, there’s no reason for me to continue going by 2B… In some ways, it feels like a lie. But the designation 2E…” It held too many painful memories, and served as a reminder that she was created to kill her fellow androids. She didn’t like it.

Even though 2B trailed off, A2 understood the gist of what she was saying. For her, the name 2E was probably similar to how she felt about the name No. 2. There were memories wrapped up in it that she didn’t want to be associated with. “I’m not really sure how it’s a lie. I mean, your type is pretty irrelevant now that you can do whatever you want, isn’t it? And I know you have no intention of executing anyone, so why _would_ you be known as an E-type anymore?”

She had to admit that A2 made a compelling point. “Thank you. That… does help me feel better about it.”

A2 was glad to have been able to say something helpful for her. It made her feel as though… she could actually be useful to someone. And it was nice to make 2B happy, too; she didn’t understand why, when her few experiences with her had mostly consisted of 2B being asked to kill her and her killing 2B instead (and 9S, when he had started to tag along), but she cared about her.

Some of it was due to them being the same number. Some of it was due to the recognition that, like her, 2B had suffered immeasurably. But there was something else to it, some nuance she couldn’t really articulate to herself yet. All she knew for certain was that she cared about 2B.

“I’ve been thinking about what I want to do, too,” 2B said, breaking the silence after a while. “Now that I don’t have a mission anymore.”

“Oh yeah?”

She nodded. “I’m not sure I even know all the options that are available to us. I’m not really interested in setting up a shop… although I don’t mind helping to collect materials when the Resistance members need some for repairs. Not that we’ll need many repairs if we aren’t fighting…”

A2 thought back to her simulated memories. “Back then,” she had never even questioned whether there was a reason for her to live. She felt content living by her grandmother’s side, helping her on the farm, knitting together… It had been a quiet life and at times a busy one, but she had been happy.

In her real memories, before she had lost her comrades, too, she had had a reason to live in them. Just being by their sides… That was all she had needed.

Could it be said then that her reason for living was happiness with others? After spending the past few years completely alone, that was bitterly ironic.

“When things were painful, what kept you going? Just that you had a mission?” She knew that wasn’t the case, having seen 2B’s memories, but she wanted to hear it from 2B’s perspective.

Certainly not. She had thought many times about abandoning her post, finding it too cruel. The reason she didn’t… “Because… 9S asked me to, so we could meet again. And I enjoyed those moments. With him, with 6O… working under the Commander… getting to know the Resistance, and now you…”

“So it’s about the people around you,” A2 said, trying not to let on how that amused her. They really were so alike in some ways, but she didn’t want to have to explain that right now. “It’s worth it for the people you care about.”

2B considered the words, then nodded as she realized A2 was exactly right. “But can that really be considered a purpose?”

She shrugged. “Isn’t it? Spending time with the people you care about… I’m not sure what you’d _do_ all day, but I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

If she were being honest with herself, she had ideas about things she could do. Get to know A2 and the androids at the Resistance Camp better, pick flowers, go fishing, explore more thoroughly where the line was where hostile machines may appear again… and most likely, as they were doing all that, they could come up with new ideas as well.

She hoped to have some flowers to bring to 6O when she woke, too. There would be a lot of changes for her to take in, but 2B hoped that this would at least bring a smile to her and ease the difficulties of adjusting to their new life a bit.

“I have some ideas,” 2B said, though because getting to know A2 better was among those ideas, she hesitated to name what they were. Still, the conversation gave her a sense of hope.

Had she ever felt hopeful like this? She couldn’t remember it, if she had. There was a general degree to which all YoRHa ‘hoped’ for the destruction of machines and restoration of mankind on Earth, but that felt a bit different from this. This hope felt warm and light in a way that she wasn’t sure she had ever experienced before.

“Well, there you go,” A2 said, though she smiled as she said it.

“What about you? What are you doing all the way out here?” 2B asked, curious if A2 had been here for any specific reason.

A2 averted her eyes, embarrassed to admit the reason she was… well, most likely in the middle of nowhere.

To be fair, _everything_ was “the middle of nowhere” except 2B’s home base and the Resistance Camp. And yet, any other android would be able to navigate themselves back to those locations…

She had never understood what was wrong with her. It should have been impossible for an android to get lost, and yet even in a fairly small space, she got turned around and lost her way easily. Even now that she had seen so many different places, that hadn’t changed. Yet, no scans had ever turned up any defects, as far as she was aware.

Oddly enough, she had a couple of simulated memories that suggested the human whose memories hers were based on had similar directional challenges. Whenever she had needed to go to the nearby village, she had taken a map with her that had been drawn by her grandmother. It was true that there was no path, but the village was close enough that one would have thought that after years of going to the village, she would be able to remember its location. In some ways, she wondered if her difficulties navigating were somehow a result of the simulated memories… although it really shouldn’t have worked that way as far as she understood, but stranger things had certainly happened.

A2 was silent for so long that 2B started to get worried, but she decided to wait and see if A2 would answer.

Eventually, she decided to be honest. She had told 2B she would try to stop pushing her away, and part of that meant attempting to open up to her. Perhaps this was a good opportunity to see what it was like to be completely honest with her. “I don’t know why, but I’ve always had difficulties navigating. Honestly, I thought I’d go to the river to get some water, but I never found it.”

This was really _not_ the correct direction of the river. Not even remotely, to the extent that she couldn’t help but to wonder if A2 had just picked a random direction and started walking. Still, she could tell that the admission made A2 feel uneasy for some reason, so she decided not to remark on this. “Want me to show you the way?”

“If you wouldn’t mind.” Water wasn’t really necessary, but it wasn’t like 2B had other things to be doing, so she saw no reason not to take her up on the offer.

They got up and walked together in the actual direction of the river. “Is there anything that helps you remember how to find things?” As soon as she asked it, she quickly clarified, “I don’t mind showing you where things are. But with no way to reach me other than when we find one another… and anyway, I’m sure you don’t want to have to rely on me all the time.”

So far, 2B had been entirely kind about it and hadn’t made her feel bad at all. That gave her the courage to continue to be honest with her. “Not that I know of. There aren’t enough landmarks here to make a map…” She sighed. “To tell you the truth, I even used to get lost in the Bunker.”

…That was pretty bad, yeah. She couldn’t deny that. It made her curious, considering that it shouldn’t have even been possible for an android to get lost. Her voice softened to demonstrate that she meant no judgement, she asked, “Don’t you have location data?”

Her steps slowed for a moment before resuming. “No. Even when I’m somewhere I should be familiar with, my systems seem to lack a map… The visuals are almost blank, where my maps should be. Even when I used the pod for navigation, all I could tell was his indication of where I was in relation to my target.”

“Would you like to see if 9S can transfer his map data to you?”

That actually wasn’t such a bad idea. “It might be worth a try.”

“Our home base is on the way to the river. Why don’t we stop by and ask him?”

“Sure.”

In her mind, 2B adjusted their path a bit, directing them first to 9S’s location. “Thank you for telling me this, A2.”

That visibly surprised her. A2 shook her head. “Thank you for not thinking less of me.”

Her brows furrowed in confusion. “Why would I think less of you?”

“…For being unable to do something that all of us are supposed to be capable of.”

She could understand why A2 would worry about it, when she put it like that. It wasn’t as though androids thought themselves to be flawless, but being unable to do things that everyone else could… well, it probably wouldn’t have been looked upon all that favorably. In fact, she would bet that A2 had hidden it when she was part of the YoRHa, or else there was a very real chance she would have been scrapped and replaced.

If hiding it had been a matter of life or death for her, in a manner of speaking… it was no wonder she felt uneasy about admitting it. “I suppose. But it doesn’t change how I see you.”

A2 felt herself relax. Even as uncomfortable as she found opening up, she couldn’t deny that she felt better for having done so. It was nice to know she was accepted as she was… at least as far as that part of herself.

Within a few minutes, they had reached 9S. A wave of unease washed over A2 as she fully realized the implications of this. She was not only going to have to tell 9S about this issue, but she was going to allow him to hack into her. It was true that she would know exactly what he was doing and could defend herself if he tried to pry, but that left her incredibly vulnerable. She knew he wouldn’t try to hurt her at this point, but there was still a chance of him stumbling upon something personal.

But 2B trusted him, and from what she had seen in 2B’s memories, that trust didn’t appear to be misguided. So she would trust him, too.

“2B, A2.” He smiled at them, a little surprised to see A2 but not at all bothered by her presence.

“9S, I was wondering if you could do a scan for A2?” 2B requested.

AS if he wouldn’t do anything 2B asked of him, honestly. “Yeah, of course.” He looked to A2. He knew she could hack too, so this probably wasn’t just general maintenance. “Anything in particular I’m looking for?”

She shifted, steeling her nerves. She already had 2B’s acceptance, which mattered to her far more than what 9S thought, but that didn’t mean she wanted to be judged by him either. “I’ve never been able to get a visual for my location data. 2B suggested that it might be possible for you to transfer a map of the area to me?”

That intrigued him. He wanted to ask why, but presumably, if she knew that answer she would have told him. “Sure, I’ll see what I can do. Okay if I try to see why you don’t have a visual in the first place?”

“Yes, please do. I’ve tried to figure it out, but the only android I’ve ever tried to do maintenance on is myself, so I have nothing to compare it to.” She wasn’t an S-type or an H-type, so that kind of information wasn’t programmed into her. She knew how to hack a machine as an offensive skill, and she had taught herself to preform some basic maintenance on her own self. Everything else, like countering his hacking when he tried to kill her or hacking him when they fought, was more or less her putting together the pieces she knew as best she could. She liked to think she had gotten pretty decent at it, but at the end of the day, it wasn’t her specialty.

A2 sat down on the floor of the building, though it was more dirt than floor at this point, in an effort to make herself comfortable in case it took a while.

“Commencing hacking.”

She felt him begin to access her data. Intentionally, she remained acutely aware of what data he was looking into.

He could feel her consciousness data following his every move, but he didn’t mind. He could hardly blame her, since it wasn’t like the two had gotten off on the right foot by a long shot.

“Interesting,” he said after a while, honestly fascinated by what he saw.

_Just what you want to hear from someone rooting around in your data_ , she quipped to herself, but decided against voicing.

After a while, he finished hacking. “It looks like your system… has limited capacity for visual data. You actually aren’t able to store a map. It seems like there’s other data that interferes with your visual data capacity, internal clock, and calculation abilities. It’s like… memory data, but… fabricated…?”

A2 blinked in confusion, not really understanding his disconnect. “Don’t you guys have simulated memories?” The rest of that statement didn’t surprise her all that much. She had known she lacked an internal clock. As an A-type she had never had reason to test her calculation abilities, but she didn’t really need them, so that was fine. Ultimately, his words confirmed her theory that it was due to interference from the human data used in her simulated memories.

“Simulated memories?”

As he repeated the term, she looked between the two of them. This was quite clearly a ‘no,’ then. How strange.

…Actually, perhaps it wasn’t so strange. If Command knew that her simulated memories interfered with some of her functions in this way, it made sense. Plus, it fit in with Command’s new prohibition on emotions that had been added after the Descent Mission. After all, Lily’s situation – experiencing distress and problems in the present day due in part to their simulated memories – wasn’t unheard of.

Still, simulated memories had been a staple for androids for at _least_ a couple hundred years, since Rose and the others had them. For Command to suddenly discontinue them felt odd.

“In the past, all androids – not just YoRHa, but all of us – had simulated memories. The idea was that they would create diversity of thought and encourage our evolution on the battlefield. But this isn’t the only example of them causing problems for people, so I guess they decided no more simulated memories for you guys.”

“Whoa. Will you tell me more about these simulated memories?!” 9S asked, his curiosity clearly piqued.

“Maybe another time.” There was a finality to her words. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to indulge his curiosity, but talking about simulated memories would remind her of her lost comrades, and that… just hurt.

“In the meantime, we should figure out what to do about your location data. It could be dangerous if you get lost and end up in enemy territory, especially since you have no way to contact us,” 2B said.

“It’s fine. I’ve survived this way long enough; you don’t need to worry about it that much.”

“Still…” Suddenly, an idea sparked in her mind. “What if I let you use my pod?”

“But _you_ need your pod.”

2B shook her head. “Other than finding you, I haven’t even used my pod since waking up. There’s no reason for you not to use it.”

Was it really alright for her to accept this? She felt a little guilty. But… it _would_ help. She waited, checking that 2B wasn’t going to change her mind and recant the offer, but 2B still looked completely serious about this. Reluctantly, she nodded. “We can try it. It’s not permanent, right? So if you need it for something, you can take it back.”

“Right. Or I can use 9S’s if I really need to.” She looked at her pod. “Pod, accompany and assist A2 in whatever ways she requests until I say otherwise.”

“Understood: Supported unit changed to Attacker No. 2.” Technically, he was capable of objecting or even refusing by now if he wanted to. But he cared about all three of them, so whoever needed his support the most, he was happy to accompany.

With that done, 2B added, “Still want to go to the river?”

“Sure. Pod, mark the nearest river as my objective on the map.”

He confirmed having done so, and together, A2 and 2B went to the river.

Once it was just the two of them and Pod 042, A2 commented, “Maybe now I can actually have a home base. Before… I knew I wouldn’t be able to find it again, so there was no point.”

Perhaps that explained her discomfort with the idea, 2B thought. “Any ideas on where?”

She pondered it for a moment, soon settling on the simplest place. She didn’t have any particular strong attachment to it yet, but that was true of every structure around here. “Pod, can you set the objective location to the building where you woke me up, with 2B and 9S?”

“Understood. Marking it on the map.”

2B added this information to her own map. She was easily able to recall which building it was by searching through her memory data, since it was quite recent, but it felt special to have it marked as “A2’s base.”

She had a home now. And… maybe, just maybe, friends. Now she just had to avoid screwing it up.


End file.
